Tie Me Up

Bondage in the bedroom is becoming increasingly popular and normalized in the 2020’s. That’s thanks to audiences’ overwhelming positive (and money making) response to books, films and tv shows like; Bonding, How to Build a Sex Room, and Fifty Shades of Grey just to name a few.

I love it when any kink that provides barrels of mutual, sexy fun for couples goes mainstream. There’s been too much shame and guilt around sex play in the past. Why should something pleasurable, creative, and connecting be kept in the dark?!

I believe it’s time to bring fun, consensual sex games out into the light. Let’s PLAY!

And what better place to start than with bondage.

What is Bondage?

According to our straight-laced Dictionary, bondage is, “the state of being bound by or subjected to some external power or control”. When used in a sexual context, bondage is basically when one partner is restrained in some fashion and while the other is in control. 

Key, key, key to bondage is consent, respect, and communication between players. It’s an agreed game that you play with a partner you TRUST. It has rules and boundaries that you establish and agree on up front, together.

Bondage is worth trying

If you’re already into erotic games of restraint, dominance/submission, you know that they must be done with someone you completely TRUST. When you trust each other completely and have 100% clear communication lines with each other, surrendering into the throws of passion is not only hotter than hell it unleashes something in your soul that longs to be expressed. It’s cathartic, and freeing. For many, bondage games are one way to reach this state.

Types of Bondage

There are a zillion ways you can play with bondage. It’s creative, fun and erotically exhilarating when done right. 

This can mean physical restraint that you can see and touch like ropes, cuffs, and blindfolds but it can also be imaginary restraint – a mental construct.

For example, Christen Grey (AKA 50 Shades) tells Anastasia to “Kneel”. She’s bound by his word only, to kneel and wait for him. His verbal command is what’s controlling her. 

Another example of restraint through mental construct is pretending you are blindfolded by keeping your eyes closed. Your imagination is a powerful tool all on its own and can be harnessed to invent powerful bondage scenes without any physical restraint.

Bondage can be a delicate bow made with a gentle ribbon around the wrists. It’s a restraint that’s more physical than words and imagination but the actual tying up is as light as a whisper and easy to get out of…if you wanted to. This is a great place to start if you are new to tying someone up or being tied up yourself. 

For stronger physical restraint you’d move to ropes or cuffs around your appendages (wrists, ankles, and get creative from there) that you then attach to the bed or other common household furniture. 

Bondage also covers art forms, which require practice and study, like Shabari and Kinbaku, all the way to full-on gimped-out leather, latex, and sex furniture. 

In that mix, I guarantee there is a flavor that’s gonna hit your sweet spot. It’s all fun when you both want to play.

Get Started

When it comes to sex, I encourage couples to get creative.  

Chat with each other about the things you’d like to try. Also discuss things that are 100% no-go zones. Make sure that your boundaries are totally clear. Check out my Rousing, Great Sex for the Monogamous Couple, for some helpful questions to ask each other.

Once you are clear on what you want to play, think about the stuff you’ll need. Costumes. props, sex toys, oils, ribbons, blindfolds and rope, lubricant, cuffs, etc. If you’ve been together for a while, these things should be handy. Your relationship will thank you for it!

Some couples need help taking their first steps into sexual awakening and exploration and that’s where people like me come in. 

If you want to explore kink or resolve any issues that are keeping you from having a fulfilling sex life, check out my Sex Coaching Packages. All my coaching is based on my tried and tested Rebel Method TM and is tailored to your specific needs. I’m here to help you reignite your life force energy by showing you exactly how to add spark back into your sex life.