I teach my clients techniques I have developed based on my experience of dealing with the physical issues that assist you to train your body in physical good habits.
However, sexual health and performance requires more than developing physical good habits but also involves your mental approach. Indeed, it is impossible to separate the impact your mental sexual health has from your physical sexual health and wellbeing.
Elite sportspeople train their body to perform under the extreme pressure situations of competition, but they also mentally prepare; indeed many sports coaches and psychologists rate the balance at 80% mental and 20% physical.
Athletes spend time mentally rehearsing their skills in addition to physically rehearsing them so they automatically kick-in during pressure situations.
First let’s have a look at how habits are developed. A habit is an involuntary reaction or response in a given situation. You don’t have to think about your response – it is automatic because it has become imprinted on your brain cells.
The simplest example of how the brain controls the body is breathing. Until I mentioned breathing you were not aware of it – it happens automatically whether you are conscious of it or not.
Creating Habits That Are Good
The secret to having positive habits is daily repetition. So, developing personal routines that will work for you by repeating tasks over and over so again and again. Just like when you say…brush your teeth each morning, so adhering a routine will allow you to develop habits that support your aspirations and your goals.
This is the process by which habits become imprinted on the brain cells and become automatic. For example, I do a few minutes or so of stretching every morning when I wake up. I do not have to think about it. I simply do it because it has become a habit.
Breaking Bad Habits
The first thing you need to understand is that you cannot break a bad (unsupportive) habit! What you consistently focus on, the brain will imprint and that is precisely how the unsupportive habit was established. So by directing your energy toward breaking the unsupportive habit you actually reinforce it. Ever tried to give up smoking?
The secret is to identify and commit to a supportive habit to replace the unsupportive one. In the case of smoking, every time that familiar craving arrives satisfy the craving but with the more supportive habit eg. chew gum, have some pre-determined “go-to” activity to occupy your hands and your mind. In this way you can slowly create automatic, supportive behaviours through repetition.
How Long Does It Take?
Without getting too metaphysical, developing a new, supportive habit takes consistent repetition over one full cycle of the moon; roughly 30 days. The universe is not a random collection of separations, there is a connectedness that we can harness once we understand this basic universal law but perhaps that is a blog for another time.
We all know, when you start to repeat the same thing you build momentum which makes it easier to keep doing. So that is why doing exercise seems to get much easier the more often you do it. You see, momentum is a massive factor when it comes to success…a routine really helps build momentum.
So What Are The Benefits?
When doing your routine often and making it a regular thing you will notice you just seem to get better at things and that’s because you are doing very regularly. To master any skill this is very important!
Think about a skill you possess…..its most likely you good at it as you performed the task over and over again and again. Perfect practice makes perfect!
If there is something you avoid doing, for whatever reason, mentally practice it first to increase your comfort level around that task or activity. In your mind’s eye, see yourself doing that task or activity and completing it. Imagine, again in your mind, the sense of fulfilment you experience through having completed something you would normally avoid.
When things become a routine, you are less likely to procrastinate. It becomes almost like its ingrained into your subconscious and you will reach a point where the actual doing of the task or activity is much easier.
A routine will help us not to procrastinate.
Most successful people seem to accomplish their goals by being mentally clear on what it is they wish to achieve and repeating the required behaviours required to achieve the goal. An artist has a clear image in her mind and sharpens her craft through much repetition. By Sticking to with a routine that supports your goals is a sure way to ensure lots of success.
I find self confidence plays a part and the lack of it…it hinders you and makes it difficult for you to change. They know they want/need to change but aren’t sure how to go about it.
(Contact me to find out more about my Total Confidence Package) The answer is small steps. When you develop routines and stick with them, it gives you a tremendous sense of satisfaction which of course helps build self confidence. That provides the ‘fuel’ to continue the routine and reap the associated positive benefits.
An excellent way to continue to build self confidence is to keep track of your successes. So much of life is spent on a journey toward some goal – always looking ahead to something that we are yet to achieve however, it is vital that we also pause on the journey to reflect on how far we have come.
Recording your successes enables you to celebrate what you have already achieved and will give you an enormous boost.
What Happens If I “Fall Off The Wagon”?
Simple – get back on! Just make the necessary tweaks and adjust and get back and follow your routine and have confidence knowing you are right back on track…Do not beat yourself up – again that is energising the negative.
Focus on the positive. In life you will get knocked over but success means getting up one more time than you fall down!
Remember the reward of what you set out to achieve will be most worth all your effort.
It is never too late…Today is a new day so go for it!
Why not get some coaching to help you stay on track and change up your old sexual habits and start working towards what you desire.
CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT MY INTIMACY COACHING SERVICES OR TAKE MY QUIZ BELOW.