The Link Between Breathwork & Confidence in the Bedroom

If you’ve attended one or more of my coaching sessions, you will know that I place great emphasis on the role of breathwork in your journey toward your sexual zenith. This is because the body – your body – is the most perfectly designed machine in the history of creation, and it comes already fitted with all the necessary bells and whistles to survive almost anything; and that definitely includes the terror of bedroom encounters! Our breath – that basic, largely taken for granted, function that we do without thinking roughly twenty-two thousand times a day is actually a pretty fascinating, powerful tool that can completely over-ride automatic physiological reactions and stress responses when used correctly. 


Imagine this, you’re walking through the jungle on a beautiful day, listening to the birds chirping and enjoying the sounds of the forest, when suddenly – you see a tiger! 


What’s your immediate reaction? 


You take a sharp intake of breath. And hold it. Right? That’s your body going into high alert, alerting your brain communicating that there’s imminent danger while it gauges the best course of next action – fight, flight or freeze. It’s the same response we have when we get startled. What follows is usually short, sharp, shallow breaths, which is an anxiety/anger/fear response and prepares us for action; and is generally paired with an accelerated heart rate.  


Your body can’t differentiate the difference between a tiger or a glass of spilled milk – as far as it’s concerned, if you’re physically reacting this way, then there’s danger – whether the situation actually warrants the anxiety or not! Have you ever had a flutter of heart arrhythmia, and suddenly felt unnecessarily anxious in your body? Just as emotions manifest in physical responses in the body, so too can physiological sensations produce emotions! So if you’re feeling a little nervous in the bedroom and start to take short, shallow breaths, you are signaling to your brain that you are in danger and it needs to prepare you to act. 


Conversely, think about how you behave when you are looking out over a beautiful, tranquil vista. Perhaps you’re sitting at the edge of a beautiful, peaceful lake; a cool breeze caresses your face and an eagle soars gracefully high above your head. You feel serene; at peace. How does your body feel? How are you breathing? Slowly and deeply, probably – all the way down into your belly. And that’s the way I want you to be breathing when you are about to make love. Not like you’re about to get your arm torn off by an apex predator. 


A more spiritual take on breath, and the way I think about it when applying breathing for a specific result, is that the in-breath is masculine, and the out-breath is linked to our feminine. We all have a balance of masculine and feminine energies which it’s important to try and keep in a harmonious state (that’s right for you) as much as possible, but I’ll talk about that in another blog. For the purposes of this blog, though, think of it as this: the masculine is DOING, and the feminine is BEING, or feeling or intuition. When you are in your masculine (left side of brain, right side of body) your body and mind is primed for getting shit done. There’s not much room for feeling – it’s all about action, such as the flight, fight or freeze. If ever you wake up feeling a bit less fair – unmotivated and disinterested in undertaking what the day demands of you, I highly recommend doing some masculine breathing exercises, which focus on a sharp, deep inhale into the gut and a long, slow exhale. HOWEVER, if you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed or fearful, slow breathing exercises such as Ujjayi or deep diaphragmatic breathing can be practiced to activate the feminine energy, calm our heart rates and come back into a state of flow. 


There have been infinite studies linking breathing to mood, and in recent years a huge amount of resources have become available teaching breathwork techniques (or pranayama) for reduction in stress and anxiety and increase in overall wellbeing and mental health. I highly recommend starting a short daily breathwork practice to center and focus yourself for the day ahead and get used to utilising breathwork practice for self-regulation. I love the Insight Timer app but theres literally MILLIONS of resources online explore these days. If you would like some more information, or you’re ready to start discovering how breathwork can help ground you not only in daily life but how it can be applied to being a more present and attentive lover, get in touch to discuss one of my many life-changing courses today.


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