Scheduled vs Spontaneous Sex
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Rebel Glea

Rebel Glea

Do you believe in the benefits of ‘scheduled sex’ or do you think half the fun is in the spontaneity?

The jury is out on this subject, and to be honest, there are definite merits to each side of the debate.
Before we come to any conclusions, I’ll go over things in a bit more detail. First of all, let’s have a look at the pros and cons of scheduling your sex life:

• It helps sex become a priority. I get it, life is hectic! And unfortunately, sex can be one of the first things to be sacrificed in aid of a good night’s sleep. It’s very easy to think of sex as something non-essential, however, this isn’t really the case. Sex has a whole host of amazing benefits, not only to your relationship, but to your health and wellbeing. As well as increasing intimacy with your partner, sex is good for the heart, can help us fend off illness and is a great stress-buster. In other words, it’s definitely worth prioritising some quality time between the sheets!
• It can help you get in the mood. If you know when you’re going to be having sex, it can actually help you look forward to it more. They key here is to not think of it like an ‘appointment’ that you just show up to and get it done like any other daily task. Think of it as a naughty little secret between you and your partner – take the opportunity to send some flirty messages throughout the day so that when the time comes, you will both be raring to go!

• It might make sex feel like a chore. Which is, obviously, the last thing you want. Sex is all about passion, raw emotion and being lost in the moment – so it’s understandable that pencilling sexy-time in your diary might not sound super appealing.
• It makes it more difficult to listen to your body. Sure, you can schedule sex, but you can’t schedule arousal. So what happens if you decide to have sex on Tuesday and Saturday, but find yourself feeling a lil frisky on Thursday?

For sure, there’s a lot to consider when deciding if scheduling sex is going to work for you, but providing you go into it in the right mindset, there’s no reason it can’t work.

I think the main things to remember to make your arrangement work are:
1. Don’t think of it as an obligation. Think of it as, like I mentioned earlier, a naughty little secret between you and your partner – a priority that you are treating yourself to. Take your schedule as an opportunity to build-up your arousal in anticipation and ramp up the flirtation earlier in the day. If you’re approaching your ‘sex nights’ as an obligation, it probably won’t work.

2. Know that it isn’t set in stone. Our bodies are not predictable – sometimes you might both be feeling frisky at a totally different time, but not ‘feeling it’ on the night you had planned, and that is more than ok. Use your schedule as guideline, but don’t make it into a set-in-stone plan. If those feelings crop up at a different time, don’t switch them off just because it isn’t ‘sex night’.

So, if your life is feeling a little hectic and you’re struggling to find time for sex, there are definite benefits to drawing up an exciting little ‘sex schedule’ with your partner. As long as you’re both on the same page and see it as a positive tool to re-ignite your sex life, it can definitely be a really worthwhile venture.
Who knew a pen and a calendar might be the re-vamp your sex life has been waiting for!

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