Options for Couples with Mismatched Libidos

Are you in a situation in your relationship where you want more or better sex but your partner is satisfied with the status quo? Or vise versa?

I’ve worked with couples where the man wants more but his woman’s gone cold (check out my Rousings on Hot Dog v.s. Cold P*ssy) but I’ve also worked with couples where the guy is content with what he’s getting and his woman wants MORE.

If you are in either situation it can get tricky, especially if you don’t have anyone to talk to about it.

As I see it, sexually mismatched couples have five main options on how to proceed and this article explores each path to help you decide on the best way forward for your relationship.

But first….

You both need Sex 

Sex or at least touch and intimacy is IMPORTANT in any lasting relationship. 

Giving and receiving the nurturing gift of physical connection, appreciation and understanding takes relationships beyond family, friendship and roommates. When done right, your sensual connection to each other has the super power to expand you both physically, mentally and spiritually. It purifies, resets, and ignites.

Basically, couples who cum beautifully together are more likely to stay together.

So, if you and your partner are currently out of alignment between the sheets, what can be done?

Here are your options:

Option 1: Do nothing

So your libido doesn’t match your partner’s. You can choose to do nothing. Maybe you’ll make excuses to yourself  like “we are sticking together for the kids” or there could be financial reasons why you are staying together.

I get it, taking action to overcome the challenge of a sexually unsatisfying relationship can be scary, and complex especially if you have kids, a home together, a business or any other shared assets. On top of that the outcome is uncertain.

The only pro is that it takes 0% effort. On the outside doing nothing seems Easy, but the cons are so awful, it’s better to do something.

In my opinion, doing nothing is the coward’s way out and will most likely result in your own version of some sort of hell. Not only will you not be getting laid or be getting laid unsatisfactorily, one or both of you are likely to feel wounded deep down and that wound is going to fester over time. This is not the type of energy you want to have trapped inside your body. You will rot from the inside. No matter how much you might think, “I/we don’t need sex”, say “bye bye” to your long-term health, happiness, and vitality.

Option 2: Cheat 

Pros: you get laid. It may be exciting for a while.

Cons: think of the stress of living a double life. You’ll have to carry the burden of secrets, lies and guilt. The heavy emotional strain will take its toll on your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Plus, you will most likely get caught eventually. How will you and the partner you have betrayed cope?

I foresee arguments, heartbreak and separation. If your separation means the ending of a marriage and you need a divorce it could get ugly and expensive, and I’ve seen this a trillion times.

Option 3: Pay for Sex

Pros: you get laid. It may be exciting for a while and addictive. Your ego will be stroked but your bank balance down.

Cons: similar to cheating. It’s also paid for so the chemistry would only ever be one sided including many fake orgasms. No sex with your partner, they could tend to get suspicious, and you could get caught.

Note: in some extenuating situations this could be a viable option. For example, I’ve had a client whose partner paid for him to have sex as she was very unwell, and her body was not an option and another client whose partner was happy that he wasn’t hitting her up all the time and they stayed together on this understanding. 

Option 4: Leave the relationship

When you know, you know.

If your relationship is not worth saving because it’s unhealthy or harmful to one or both of you, you might decide to call it off.

But before you cut off your nose despite your face, if there is any hope and you are both keen and willing to try to overcome your differences in bed, then get outside help.

Option 5: Get help

Be comforted in knowing that mismatched libido is very common in relationships. This especially happens when couples are raising a family, have busy careers, or have just plain been together for a LONG time and have got themselves into an unsexual routine.) 

It’s no wonder because we are never taught how to be great lovers! The great news is that being great in bed and a perfect passionate match for your partner is a skill that can be learned. 

This teaching is my mojo. I teach men and women how to communicate around sex, how to feel love and confidence about their bodies and sexuality, how to be comfortable in their own skin and pressing against the skin of their beloved. Learn sexual archetypes, ways of touching and teasing. And so much more…

Set a healthy example for your kids and others you love by overcoming this issue and stepping into your full sexual potential.

If you are in love with your partner and you are committed to feeling fulfilled sexually by each other, I can help. I offer a special Save My Relationship Package for couples CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE.

In my experience – where there’s a will there’s a way.