Do you most often have sex with your eyes open or closed? Or a bit of both?
Having sex with your eyes open and looking into each other’s eyes can be an intensely passionate experience. When you look deeply into someone else’s eyes for a prolonged period of time, the hormone Oxytocin is released (AKA the love hormone). This hormone is also released when we cuddle and have sex so looking into each other’s eyes can intensify the release of this hormone even more.
St. Augustine quoted that the ‘eyes are the window to the soul’. It’s amazing how much we can tell from a person by looking into their eyes. Having sex with your eyes open puts you both in a more vulnerable position. This vulnerability can help you let go and feel even more connected to the person you’re having sex with. It can help keep you both in the moment and your mind may be less prone to chatter, and it can be an incredible turn on to be looking deeply into someone’s eyes as they orgasm.
While maintaining eye contact during sex can intensify pleasure and increase the power of your orgasms. It can be a little bit daunting for some, particularly if you have always had sex with your closed. Having sex with eyes closed is incredibly common, and a lot of it stems from we keep doing things the way we’ve always done them. Many people feel shy in the bedroom, and having sex with the lights off is equally as common. Many people may open their eyes intermittently, but refrain from intense eye gazing, especially if the other person is also keeping their eyes mostly closed.
A positive reason behind keeping eyes closed is so that you can pay greater attention to the physical sensations. This is why wearing a blind fold can be such a turn on. Another reason is that many feel that they get easily distracted if their eyes are open, and less connected to the physical sensations. When your eyes are closed you can pay more attention to the sensations, as well as sounds being made. The consensus is that making noise whilst having sex usually turns a man on and so why would it be any different for the woman? Sexual intimacy is a two-way street and whilst expressing your pleasure through sound may feel unnatural at first, I can assure you it will be well received.
Having your eyes closed can also help your body and mind feel more in sync. You are more able to control your breath and feel more deeply connected to the physical sensations. This in turn allows you to direct the sexual energy toward your groin with experience more intense orgasms.
As part of my sex coaching I recommend practising deep breathing every day and feeling the energy of your breath move throughout your body. Before you get out of bed each morning, breathe in for 4 then out for 4; in for 4 then out for 5; in for 5 then out for 6 and so on and aim to reach 10 or 12 on the out breath. Night time is also ok. Doing this practice daily will allow your body to get in sync and when they’re in sync, you will find greater pleasure in sex as you are less prone to distractions and are more able to direct the sexual energy.
When you’re able to enjoy pleasurable sex with your eyes closed and feel connected to your body and mind and the sexual energy going through it, I recommend that you give having sex with your eyes open a go. When having sex with your eyes open, you should maintain a soft gaze into other persons eyes whilst keeping focused on your breath and the physical sensations you are experiencing. Don’t be afraid to make sounds, as I said before, this is a great turn on for women too.
I don’t believe there is a right or wrong when it comes to having sex with your eyes open or closed. What’s important is staying in the moment and being connected to the sexual energy and the person you are having sex with.
Do you prefer sex with eyes open or closed, and why? I’d love to hear from you! Please drop a comment below.